The Mind of KLH

On this day, I am one of many who will reflect, talk, meditate on, or write about one of our greatest citizens, Martin Luther King.  Born January 15, 1929, educated in our nations colleges, and polished to a razor sharp edge in violently protested peace marches and dirty jail cells.  MLK was a man with flaws, but in spite of those flows he rose to speak to a nation that had lost it’s way.  America Home of the Free, had become any but that for many of it’s citizens.  A movement began to resist ungodly persecution, and an institutionalized apartheid, not unlike that found in South Africa.  A reluctant leader came to the fore to lead this so called civil rights movement, to help it achieve it’s righteous goal of peace and equality for people of color.  That leader became the voice of a people that had grown impatient and fully ready to claim it’s rightful place at the table of The American Dream.

On August 28, 1963 between 250,000 to 400, 000 people gathered in Washington DC before the Lincoln Memorial to hear the keynote speaker of the March On Washington For Jobs And Freedom.  I don’t think anybody understood what they were about to witness.  This reluctant leader Martin Luther King gave what is widely believed to be one of the two or three greatest and most influential speeches ever given.  I Have A Dream is what he said.  He spoke in lofty often times thunderous words about his aspiration for our country.  He said that as great as our country was it could not achieve it’s full greatness while oppressing some of it’s people.  Martin challenged The United States of America to do what it should do.  He used it’s own founding principles to say that America must live up to it’s own creed.

Because of the leadership of Martin Luther King and the sacrifices, blood, sweat, and tears of thousands of righteous soldiers the Civil Rights Bill was signed into law by President Johnson in 1964 and the Voting Rights Act was signed into law a year later in 1965.  This was all done with peaceful resistance, powerful oratory, and a refusal to accept anything less than what was righteous and deserved.  The work of Dr. King and many others ultimately lead to a surprising prophecy made by Robert Kennedy shortly before his assassination in 1968.  He said that the United States would have a “negro president” in forty years.  Forty years later in 2008 Barrack Obama was elected to become the 44th president of The United States of America.  Clearly Dr. King would have been proud having seen the realization of at least some of his Dream.

So here we are in 2012…with a black president that a lot of people hate.  Here we are in 2012 where there are more people living in or close to poverty, than there has been in decades.  Here we are in 2012 where people of color do indeed have civil rights, but way too many have no moral compass.  In 2012 more black men under 30 will go to jail than will go to college.  In 2012 the highest cause of death amongst young black men will be homicide…by the hands of another black man.  In 2012 the middle class is shrinking and our elected officials don’t even mention the poor.  What about the Dream?

2012 is a great time to reflect on Dr. King, what he fought for, and what he died for.  Many believe that 2012 will mark the end of the world as we know it.  I’d suggest that may be a good thing.  As we celebrate the life of one of our greatest Americans, let’s think about what we can do to advance the Dream.  Lets make our voices heard like Martin did.  Let’s speak truth to power like Martin did.  Let’s take rightful action to end poverty, to bring jobs back, and make sure that all Americans have equal access to the American Dream.  Let’s commit to ending the violence that is taking our young people away from us.

We have come so far, and there is a lot to be proud of as Americans.  However we still have a long way to go before we are Free At Last.  I call on each and every one of you to do something to help and even challenge our country to be great as it should be.  As for me I am building an organization to help eradicate youth violence.  It’s called Peace Squad.  I need help.  I need soldiers willing to do the hard work with me.  I have a very simple website up so that I can accumulate ideas and suggestions on how we can stop youth violence.  I’d love to hear from everybody.  God knows I have my flaws…and I’m no MLK…but I’m inspired by him…and so I am acting… and I hope you will too.  Then someday we can finally get to that place where we are all truly Free At Last.

Please visit the site by clicking on this link  - www.peacesquad.org

Stay Fly and Fly High
KLH

Happy New Year to you all!  This is a time when so many of us reflect on the year past and anticipate the year ahead.  This past year has seen a lot of things happen.  The rise of the Tea Party and the Occupy Wall Street movements.  Presidential campaigns are in full swing.  Babies were born and unfortunately we lost a lot of people.  I’d like to mention a few.  Steve Jobs technological revolutionary, Nick Ashford half of the genius songwriting team Ashford and Simpson.  Amy Winehouse the soulful and tragic songstress, Clarence Clemons the great sax player behind Bruce Springstein.  We also lost the eternally opinionated and witty Andy Rooney.  No longer with us the sworn enemy of America Osama bin Laden.  Moammar Gadhafi, and Kim Jong Il are gone too, many are happy with the deaths of these last three, but death to me is always sad, even when it’s deserved.

Trust me I’m getting to 2012.

Troy Davis was executed after having been convicted of murdering a police officer.  Normally I am a supporter of the death penalty, but this case was, to say the least very problematic.  Eyewitness testimony was either very questionable and in a couple of cases recanted and there was no physical evidence to connect him to the murder.  So after a number of appeals Troy was executed even though in the minds of many people he was innocent.  A lot of people, me included, think justice died the day Troy was executed.

We also lost a young man named Mikyle Frank.  By all accounts a very popular, loving, and loved person.  He was in his early 30′s and he was stabbed in a bar over some foolish little argument.  Over nothing a young father is gone…the victim of senseless violence.  In response to the tragic loss of Mikyle and many other young people at the cold hand of meaningless violence I have decided to launch an organization called Peace Squad.  I intend to take the fight to the violence that is taking our young people away from us.  Please visit the website at http://www.peacesquad.org for details and please understand it’s about to go down in 2012.

So yes we are here in what many believe to be a very significant year 2012.  The ancient Mayan people of South America were great astrologers and mathematicians and they created amongst other things a Long Count calender.  This calender delineated a 5,126 year era.  The end of the current era is December 12, 2012.  Many very devout people think on that date there will be a huge shift of some kind.  Perhaps a shift in the global mindset.  A spiritual shift that will unite mankind.  Others who are equally devout believe 12-12-2012 will bring the Apocalypse…the end of the world as we know it.

Personally I don’t believe in any of that stuff.  I’m not into astrology, I think we make our own choices and those choices have certain consequences good or bad.  However, I do think we can use these End Of The World pronouncements to our advantage.  The last year has been really difficult for many people, me included.  So, why not use this year of 2012 to create the world as we would like it to be? 

We do not have to accept that violence will always take our young people away from us.  We do not have to accept that our politicians will never care about us, the people who they are supposed to work for.  If you’re over weight, that is not your destiny unless you decide that it is.  If you’re in a relationship that doesn’t honor you, and make you better, that doesn’t have to be a life sentence.  If the recession has dealt you a bad hand, you can throw those cards away, the game is not over. 

My point is that whatever you didn’t like about 2011 can be changed in 2012.  This year can be exactly what you want it to be…but you have to REALLY want it.  You have to be willing to roll up your sleeves and jump in.  The work may be hard, but the pay off can be staggering.  So what do you want?  A better paying job…or any job at all?  You can have that.  Lower or eliminate your debt, a new car or just a reliable car…you can have that.  How about a world where your kids can be safe, because violence is something we only ‘used to know’…yep…we can have that too.  What’s important to you?  Do you want to be in love?  Do you want to record an album, plant a garden on land you own, send your kids to a great college, visit your parents in another state?  What do you want for your life?  How do you want this world you live in to be? 

No matter what you want, no matter how ambitious your dreams and desires are, you are just a number of steps away.  Here’s the thing that makes all the awesomeness of your goals manageable…ALL YOU CAN EVER DO IS THE NEXT THING.  People tend to get intimidated by big goals and consequently throw up their hands and walk away.  They settle for a life that is easier to see.  Don’t settle!  Any goal imaginable can be broken down into small chunks that you can acomplish today.  Want to lose 100 pounds?  Pick up the phone and make an appointment with your doctor or join a gym.  You don’t have to do the sit-ups today…just call and join.  Want to start a business selling solar panels?  Do a Google search on where to buy solar panels.  You don’t have to order, ship and sell them today.  Just take one step…and after that another…and then another. 

People who do big things know that there is a pay off at the end of a thousand steps.  People who live small only see the thousand steps…they get winded before they even move…and they give up on their dreams.  2012 can be your year.  This year can change your life.  Greatness in whatever endeavor you choose is within your grasp.  But you have to reach out.  Greatness will not drag you out of bed.  You have to get up and get after it.  You have to chase it down…but if you believe…greatness can be yours.  Greatness in what ever is important to you, is right around the corner…waiting for you.

So yes 2012 is, or certainly can be The End Of The World As We Know It.  I am so ready for a new day…a new life…This is my year.  2012 is my year…and it’s yours too.  We are all giants with awesome powers…we just have to except that it is true.  I’m so excited for you.

Stay Fly and Fly High,
KLH

It’s so easy to get overwhelmed in these uncertain times.  Record high unemployment, soaring health-care costs, oppressive gas prices, political discord, and scandal on The X-Factor… What are we supposed to do?  At the end of the day I think we all desire pretty much the same thing.  We want good health, financial security, love, and a good future for our children.  However is seems to be getting harder and harder to achieve the things that were so hard to achieve 4 or 5 years ago.  I ask again, ‘what are we supposed to do’? 

Setting goals is important and often even necessary.  You may want to earn more money, you may want to lose more weight, you may want a job that is more secure, or more fulfilling.  The reason so many people set goals and then fail to reach them is the gap between they we are and where they want to be.  For a lot of people that gap might as well be a 50 ft. high steel reinforced concrete wall…”that is electrified, and a sign reading it will KILL you” (shameless political reference).   For others the gap is a red carpet, welcoming them to the Promise Land.  This is the thing, the gap is exactly what we perceive it to be.  It is this perception that makes it easy or impossible to achieve our goals. 

So, if we want to achieve anything, how we look at that thing is critically important.  How we look at the process to achieve is equally important.  It is a fact that the recession has us in it’s grip.  At the same time there are people right in our midst who always seem to thrive, recession or not.  Those people see opportunity when others see obstacles.  These people are often seen as being really lucky.  I’d suggest that luck has nothing to do with their success at all. 

People who live well, accomplish goals, and fulfill dreams BELIEVE THAT THEY CAN.  When you believe that you can, you look at “the gap” entirely different than people who believe that they cannot.  When you believe that you can, you see possibilities, options, and opportunities.  Your perception of what can be done will determine what you can actually do.  It comes down to this – If you will start with believing you can do and have what you want, you will have moved yourself into the world of possibility.  If you will then, act on that belief, one step at a time, the universe will open up to you in a way that will astonish you. 

Stay Fly and Fly High!
KLH

So once again another young black man has been killed.  I know some of his family, I didn’t know him…but that doesn’t matter.  Apparently this young man was loved, I draw that conclusion from the outpouring of support and expressions of deep affection I saw on Facebook.  I saw pictures of a handsome young man with a brilliant smile. His name was Mikyle… I learned his name from the numerous messages saying R.I.P.  So now he is gone…one more in a long horrible list of young black men who are killed in the prime of their lives….and for what?

Of course people will talk.  I’m gonna assume that at least some of what I heard is true…and it boils down to this – that young man died for nothing.  An argument or disagreement, escalated into a fight, that ended in a death. Time and time again this keeps happening…we get sad, we get mad…we say STOP THE VIOLENCE…and yet nothing changes.  Why?

I think it’s clear that the problem is complex, no one thing will fix this.  However, we cannot as a society let the complexity or pervasiveness of the problem make us feel impotent against this scourge.  We cannot as a society throw in the towel or develop apathy or a short memory.  This problem persists because we let it persist.  That cannot happen any more.  One lost life affects the balance of our universe…we are all less than we could have been otherwise, every time a young person dies.  Mikyle was a child of God, and now one more of God’s children is gone…for nothing.

Any day now there will be a wake, and then a funeral.  A mother will endure the unspeakable pain of burying her child.  People will cry, and scream in agony.  People will say wonderful things about Mikyle…and in time  a lot of people will forget.  Not because they don’t care, it’s just what happens.  They will move on to other things, and face the challenges and even joys of their own lives.  But here’s the thing…WE CANNOT AFFORD TO FORGET!  We must as a society…as a community remember the pain of this loss and collectively vow to fight against the violence that took Milyle’s young life.

So what’s the answer?  We must have outrage when violence or for that matter any kind of anti-social and destructive behaviour is displayed.  We must stand up for goodness, patience, self control, forgiveness, generosity…and most importantly love.  We must teach young boys how to feel anger, but not act out in anger.  We must teach young boys that to have hurt feelings is not ‘soft’…and we need to allow young boys, young men, and even grown men to feel all of their emotions.  We have got to instill in our youth that real strength includes being willing and able to walk away from conflict.  Somehow it has gotten cool to be a thug…truth be told you can be quite popular with the ladies if you’re a bad ass.  I can go on an on…and I will at another time.

For now I say for us all…let’s dig down deep and connect with the divinity in all of us and find the resolve to rise above and conquer this madness. Let’s use our creativity, power, and resourcefulness…let’s use our compassion and most of all love for each other…and frankly love for oursleves, to find our way to a place where we no longer say the sickening and all too familiar words Rest In Peace to a young person lost to violence.

To the families of Mikyle, all those lost before him, and those yet to come…please know that you are in the hearts, minds and prayers of many.  May you find strength in the love and support of family and friends you know…and those who wish you well from a far.  God Bless you.

To save our children…I am ready to fight for that…I hope you are too.  Stay tuned.

Stay Fly and Fly High
KLH

So here we are, 90 Days Later.  I set some goals, designed to change my life.  I purposely wanted to make a public declaration of my “90 Challenge” because that’s what I do for one…and the reason is I want to have accountability in my life.  Making goals  or at least the intention of achieving goals (as in my case) puts some pressure on you.  People will wonder whether you did what you said you would do.  This kind of pressure can be used to good affect…or not.

Well I had several goals, and I’m here to report to you that I only accomplished one of them.  I launched my website www.klhbeats.com. It was a big one, but it was only one.  On a certain level I feel proud of myself because I know that most people don’t have the skill to do what I did.  Most people could never visualize, follow through, and build what I did.  Had it not been for my setting the goal to have it launched by July 4th, I might still be caught up in the trap of perpetual tweaking.  But the goal of having it done by a date certain, provoked me to have an end game.

To be honest, on another level I’m disappointed. I felt like if I really applied myself, and focused, I really could accomplish everthing on my list…but I didn’t.  I even had my cable TV temporarily turned off, to get rid of a huge time killer.  Even that wasn’t enough.  I still managed to find ways to do things other than what I had written down as goals. So yes, I’m disappointed.  However, I did learn something from this experience.

Even though I’ve always had this intuition in my head about a 90 day goal challenge…it became clear to me that 90 days is too long a period, at least for me it was.  I’ve talked in the past about breaking big goals down into small chunks.  The benefit of this is, it makes the goal more feasible…more attainable.  The shorter the gap is between where you are and where you want to be, the greater your chance is to get to where you want to be.  A lot of people would love to be a millionaire, I know I would.  But if you are currently only making $35k per year the gap between the two is so big, that it makes the goal seemingly unattainable.  If you want to loose 80 lbs. you have a much better shot at success if you focus on 2 or 3 lbs. at a time.

I knew that breaking goals down was very important, and I think that my impatience moved me to jump into my 90 day challenge without properly preparing for it.  Had I taken the first 2 or 3 days to plan my activities, and to set up small incremental goals, I think my end result would have, or could have been different…Lesson learned.

This won’t be the end of goal setting challenges for me, it’s really just one step in my journey…that strikes me as corny, but it’s true.  I learned that I really could get by watching a lot less TV, that I can accomplish a goal, and that it’s always better to break bigger goals down into smaller more manageable chunks.  So I’m gonna look back on my 90 Day Challenge as a success.  Not quite the success I envisioned but a success nonetheless.

Stay Fly and Fly High!
KLH

Yes…I’ve been thinking…I do that a lot.  Lately I’ve been thinking some negative thoughts, thoughts that I know don’t serve me well.  I am fully aware of the power of our thoughts, but when I am just thinking those thoughts, without being aware, it’s very easy to get carried away…to a very bad place.  (If you need to rewind…and read the first couple of sentences I’ll wait.)

…….So…after feeling really crappy for a while I did what I thought was prudent, I called a friend.  A friend who is smart, supportive, who could understand what I was going through…but more importantly who knew that to continue thinking negatively about my situation would keep me imprisoned by that situation.  It boils down to this…our reality is what we think it is. 

I have heard a couple of authors that I read put it this way – “When you change what you think about, what you think about changes”.  So if I (I’m gonna spill some beans here) believe that being a great guy is a liability when it comes to attracting a woman…then the universe will make appear before me, boat loads of women who want the “bad boy”.  Women who go after the popular guy, the player, or God forbid the jerk.  Being that I am none of the above, this situation has been very upsetting, because of course I…am a good man…just ask me. (I wish I could make that line echo….I AM A GOOD MAN…anywayzzz…)

So my very wise friend told me what I already knew, that I have to change my thoughts…that I have to think about, not what I don’t have, but what I do have.  I need to think about what I want, not what I don’t want.  When we operate from a position of despair, lack, victimization we tend to see all the world through that lens.  The more we think about how hard things are, how bad the recession is (it sucks…oops!!), how women don’t want the good men, or how men are all dogs…the more those thoughts become a part of who we are, they become ingrained in us. 

We all see the world through the filter of our experience and thought process.  The reflection of the world that we see is OUR REALITY.  If we want our reality to change we must change our filter, and when we do the world will appear differently.  The way that we change that filter is to change our thoughts.  Now, to be fair, it’s not an easy process.  We didn’t become who we are instantly, nor can we change who we are instantly.  We must become aware…of our thoughts.  Think about that.  We must notice when we are having a positive thought or a negative one.  When the negative ones that don’t serve us come up, we can simply redirect that thought to one that will benefit us or maybe just make us feel a little better in the moment.

We have all heard of self fulfilling prophecies.  We have all had an intuition that turned out to be true.  We have had a certain feeling about a person, perhaps without adequate information, and formed a bad opinion about that person.  Then we had to eat crow, when we found out we were wrong…but our thoughts made us think they were bad, bad, bad.  How many of us bought a car…and then suddenly noticed how many of those cars were on the road with us?  (Must have been a sale on Ford Explorers)   The point is this…our thoughts shape our reality. 

Here’s the thing…if we think something often enough, long enough, and intensely enough that thought will grow into a belief.  That belief will inform us, and guide us.  In time that belief will become our reality.  My friend reminded me how important it is to pay attention to what we think about.  I know this to be true…My life is exactly…no more…and no less…what I think it is…and so is yours.   Think about that.

Stay Fly and Fly High!
KLH

I remember a time when the term ‘baby daddy’ didn’t exist…I know that dates me but that’s OK.  Back then the term for my ’baby’s daddy’ was husband, but times have changed.  I heard a startling statistic on the radio today, it said that 50% of black women have a child out of wedlock before they are 20 years old.  I think this is tragic…but you wouldn’t know it by the way so many people react to a pregnancy.  There are the congratulations, the fancy baby showers and all.  For way too many people this has become the status-quo.  The problem however is that the status-quo is very problematic.

If a young girl in her teens has a baby her chance of graduating high school is greatly diminished.  With that is the likelihood that this teen mother and her child will live in poverty.  With the stigma of poverty, and what is often substandard living conditions the child will grow up and repeat the cycle.  There is also the drain on our economy.  The boys  get these girls pregnant and don’t have the financial ability or sometimes even the will to contribute to their child’s upbringing, so cities and states have to pick up the tab and pay for these babies.  This is a burden that society shouldn’t have to bear, and increasingly can’t afford to bear. In lots of minority communities having a baby is a career option. Something has got to change.

I try to never complain about a situation and not offer a solution, if for no other reason than to spark thought and conversation.  I’ll start with the girls.  They need to be taught from a young age, way before they are sexual that they have value. They need to be taught they are worth more than the sex they can give to a boy or young man.  Girls and young women should require more from guys than him saying -  “You know you’re looking hot tonight right?”  I wonder how many babies have been born because some guy told a girl she was beautiful.  Maybe moms and dads should be telling these girls that at home. 

Young women and young men should be very thoroughly educated when it comes to sex.  Just saying “be careful and make sure you where a rubber” isn’t sexual education…it’s neglect.  Make sure that kids know the consequences of sexual activity.  Make sure they know the physical risk, the emotional risk (broken hearts really suck), and the financial risk.  I think no one should have sex until they are mature enough, healthy enough, and financially stable enough to deal with a pregnancy if it comes.  Because the funny thing about sex is that, at least sometimes a baby comes out of it.

As far as boys, they should be taught how to respect girls.  They should learn the value of educating themselves, getting established financially, and growing up.  When a young man really has taken the time to get himself together, he is a whole lot more desirable to outstanding young women.  Also young boys should be taught to take responsibility for their own actions.  It is not the sole responsibility of girls to provide birth control.  It is a joint responsibility.  It should be deeply inculcated into boys,  that real men take care of their responsibilities.  That means you don’t have frivolous sex with some girl you barely know, because she might become your ‘baby’s mother’…and you might not want that. 

Again going back in the day, I remember when it was scandalous when a young girl got pregnant while she was in school.  I think a little ‘shock and dismay’ would do us some good today.  Of course we want mothers whatever their age to love and take care of their children.  But maybe we shouldn’t have a party to celebrate extraordinary lapses in judgement by young people.  How about this – children deserve to have to grown up parents who are stable and love each other AND LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE…but I digress..I’d like to see single parents reach out to young people and tell them how incredibly hard it is to raise children alone, or with not enough money.  I happen to think it’s not a foregone conclusion that kids are going to have sex.  I think we should expect and encourage kids to wait until they are ready in every way before they have sex.  Also last but not least make sure that children learn and progress in their schooling.  Kids who do well in school are much less likely to get pregnant early.

I happen to think kids are great, but kids with kids???…not so much.  Let’s bring it back to the way it was…when a baby daddy was a husband….just a thought.

Stay Fly and Fly High!

KLH

So…I’m on a job, and I ask the home owner what he did for a living.  He told me he worked for and retired from IBM.  He then volunteered this statement that really struck me, he said “We’ve had a wonderful life…my wife, our kids, three cats…we’ve really been lucky.”  As simple as that statement is, it’s equally unusual.  You’re more likely to hear someone say some version of “Same Sh^t different day” or some other complaint about how bad things are.  From time to time you may have someone tell you they’re “OK”, or “Fine”…but that’s usually about as good as it gets.

So I started to wonder how it can be that this retired gentleman could live in the same state as me in the same recession that the rest of us are in and say he’s had a “wonderful life”?  I should have interviewed him but the timing didn’t seem appropriate.  So, I’m gonna tell you what I think (being that you’re here reading “The Mind Of KLH”).  I think this was a man who probably learned early in his life that you get out of it, what you put into it.  You go to school and study hard, then graduate high enough in your class to get recruited into a great company.  Once you start working you look for a potential spouse who can be a great partner and an even better parent.  Get married, spend less than you earn, save that money and then buy a nice house where you can raise your children.  Keep saving and send them to good schools so they can repeat the cycle.

It’s nothing complicated really, it all comes down to this…make good decisions.  Carefully consider the possibilities and then make choices that will serve you well.  Most importantly though is to be grateful.  Even when you don’t have much, you have some..thing that you can and should be grateful for.  We live in a magnetic universe, and what we focus on is drawn to us.  What we focus on is what we are drawn to.  It is so very important to be aware of what we think about throughout the day.  Think about problems and problems will come into our home and take up residence.  Think about a “wonderful life” and…

So as I’ve been working in these peoples home for the last two days I’ve observed how happy they seem to be.  They eat breakfast together, sitting on the same side of the table.  They never say a cross word to each other (at least not in my presence).  The husband is a realtor…he says’s “it’s just to stay busy…I’m not making any money these days”.  The wife tends to the flowers and helps me choose which of the decorative tiles she wants on her back-splash…and I noticed how easily she laughs at my silly jokes.

As I look at them…now eating lunch…again sitting on the same side of the table, I think I get it.  They have a wonderful life because they decided…that they would have a wonderful life.  Seems like a plan to me.

Stay Fly and Fly High!
KLH

So I’ve been really unhappy with where I am in life.  I have felt not so good for a while now.  I have always wanted more for myself and I have always had something going to put myself in a better place.  However, here I am still unhappy, and still not where I want to be.  So what’s the fix?   For a number of years I have had a feeling or intuition about this question – What would happen if  a person focused on achieving a goal for 90 days? For whatever reason I never found out the answer for myself…I’ve always procrastinated…that is until now.  I am on DAY 14 of a 90 Challenge.  You may be wondering “How’s that working out for you?”

Well just a little while ago I walked into my house…after having walked home from the local Chevy dealer.  It’s only about a 5 or 6 minute drive, but I can tell you it takes a hell of a lot longer to walk.  I had to leave my big blue van to have the spark plugs changed.  It’s gonna cost me $90 more than they told me over the phone…ain’t it funny how that happens?  But I digress…I can’t afford the money to repair it, but I can’t afford not to do it either…so, I’m waiting for a call from the very unfriendly service guy who couldn’t give a damn about me or my pitiful van.  I’m 14 Days into this Challenge and I feel sad, alone, broken, down…but not out.  On the walk home I decided to write about where I’m at…writing always feels good to me.

So I have these goals.  They involve losing some weight, launching a new website, and some other things that I believe will put me in position to start living the life I want to live.  Achieving these goals won’t make me rich (at least not immediately), but they will put me on the right path.  So often we see the big picture and we don’t act, because it’s such a big picture.  Big things are almost always accomplished by doing a lot of little things.  No matter what it is you want to accomplish all you can ever do is the next thing.  I heard author Michael Neill say that.  All you can ever do…is the next thing.

So that’s what I’ll be doing for the remainder of my 90 Days…is the next thing.  Then…the next thing…and the next and so on.  Sometimes I’ll take a big step, like yesterday I called and turned off my cable TV.  Some people might think that’s nothing…but it was big for me and that’s what matters.  I turned it off to allow me the time to work on the things that are most important to me right now.  TV has always been a huge distraction and time stealer.  So for me it was big…VERY BIG!!!  Later today I’ll chip away at my website and move ever closer to my launch date of July the 4th.

These coming days won’t all be filled with dramatic leaps of faith, and gigantic displays of brute willpower, although there may be the occasional flash of magnificence .  There will however be a lot of little things.  Things that will gradually add up to bigger things.  I believe that effort on your own behalf,  compounds, like interest in your savings account.  It seems like nothing at first, and that’s the snag.  But in time your investment grows, and the more you put in, the more it compounds. Effort works exactly the same way.

I cannot stand being where I am in life.  Now don’t get me wrong there are things that I am grateful for, but walking home from the Chevy dealer ain’t one of them.  Day 14 will see me move closer to the life I want for myself.  From the outside it won’t seem like much, but that’s OK.  I know I am acting in my own behalf, and building a future that I can feel good about, a future that doesn’t involve walking home from the freakin’ Chevy dealer. I would encourage you to look at where you are, be grateful for what you have, but if you want more for yourself and or your family…Why not try a 90 Day Challenge of your own?  Write down some goals that excite you, and then break them down into small nuggets that you can do in one day.  I bet you’ll be surprised at what you’ve done…I know you’ll be proud.

Stay Fly and Fly High!

KLH

What do you say, when the unspeakable has happened?  What can you do, when that one thing, that one unthinkable thing, comes to the front door of someone you care about?  There is no way to prepare…no class to take…or book to read…to help quench to impossible pain of a parent losing their child.  Everyone knows it defies nature to lose a child, yet still it happens from time to awful time. 

Today I heard that a friend of mine lost his son…his young son just entering the prime of his life.  I only see him occasionally, and I never met his son…but it still took my breath away.  Everything I had been stressing about today,  lost it’s meaning…my little problems meant nothing…my friend had just come face to face with that thing no parent should ever have to experience.  So what do I say?  I feel like words can’t fill a void that has no boundary….no width or depth.  What can anyone say?  “Everything will be OK in time”…is insulting…strike that it’s offensive.  “How are you doing?” …is silly…or even ridiculous.  It’s times like these that make it clear…words sometimes get in the way.

So why do things like this happen?  These kinds of tragedies make a lot of people question the existence of God, or the motives of God.  “How could God do this…or…What kind of God would do this?”  Some people say “It’s God’s plan”.  Well…I’m not sure why these things happen.  I can speculate, and frankly I think that’s the best any of us can do.  But one thing I feel very certain about, and it’s this…The God that I believe in would never take a child from his parents.  Tragedy… is not the work of God…of that much I am certain.

For all the pain that tradgedy brings…it also carries with it possibility…and opportunity.  Tragedy has a way of bringing the best out of us.  The humanity in us rises to levels previously unknown.  We donate money we couldn’t afford, offer up our homes to those displaced, charitable foundations are formed, new laws are passed and we lend a shoulder to someone who cannot bear the weight of an unbearable pain that has come to live with them. Tragedy reminds us how precious life is…how delicate…life is…and how much we need to savor and appreciate it while we have it.  Death has a way of bringing to life, relationships that had been dormant for months or even years.  The finality of death carries with it the possibility for rebirth…for reconnection to the meaning of our lives.  In these times we are reminded how important love and compassion are, and so we offer it freely to those who have suffered loss.  But the sudden interruption of life also provokes us to show love and compassion to friends and family we may have been taking for granted.  We so often live our lives like they will never end…times like these remind us that isn’t true…we all are only here…briefly.  We should live every day fully, deeply, and completely.

It is nearly impossible to expect a parent to feel anything but inconsolable pain when they are in the grips of this kind of loss…but perhaps what we can do…is silently hold a place in our hearts, where they can land softly.  Now is not the time to say everything will be OK…but we can hold that place for them.  In time…in their own time…they can move into that space.  So, after all these words I offer this to you my friend…I’m am so sorry for your loss and…I…am here.

Stay Fly and Fly High,
KLH