The Mind of KLH

Yep…I’m gonna go there.  The N-word, I do not say it, I do not like to be called by it, and I do not like to hear it.  In fact it breaks my heart when I hear it.  I’m always amazed when I hear an otherwise intelligent person say “We’ve taken the power out of it, it’s a term of affection”.  If that were really true then black folks wouldn’t mind if a white person called them the N-word.  If that happened most likely a fight would break out. If it were true the the N-word was just a term of affection, then rappers wouldn’t refer to people they want to kill as “N-words”.

I hear black people gleefully claim that “we took the word back and they (white people) can’t use it, it’s only for us”.  I wonder to myself if there could EVER come a time when a Jewish person would use a horrible epithet to refer to themselves or another Jew…I think not.  I wonder if a white person would call a white friend a derogatory term and say it’s a term of affection.  I’ve never heard a Hispanic person call another Latino a horrible slur as a sign of affection. Why is this?

Well…I’m a black man, so I can only guess on the answer to this question.  But my guess would be that people of other ethnicity’s have pride in their heritage.  To disrespect their heritage would be unthinkable.  Of course they wouldn’t take upon themselves any term that was created to make them feel like they were less than human.  Ironically it has become common for Hispanics to use the N-word, but why?  Because it’s not the S-word.  It’s easy to co-opt disrespect that isn’t directed at you.  If we interviewed Hispanics about this they might not think about it so deeply.  They may just say “oh, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a friendly term”.  But I doubt that you could find many Puerto-Ricans who would find use of the S-word to be a harmless expression.  Again…it’s pride, pride about where they come from…and that’s something that way too many African Americans don’t have.

The history of African Americans in this country has been a difficult one.  We’ve been robbed of our history.  Most black folks have no idea what country they come for…not what continent, but what country. So many things happened to make us feel…less than.  Too many of us have internalized this oppression without even realizing it.  A lot of black folk have the outer expression of confidence but that confidence is betrayed by willingly taking upon ourselves the disgrace of the N-word.  This sickness shows itself in other ways like:  saying a black person is “acting white” when they speak proper English, throwing in the towel in the work place because “the white man won’t give us a chance”, selling drugs to our people in our neighborhoods, killing each other, the most likely cause of death amongst young black men is murder at the hands on other young black men.

Black folks need to wake up…we need to learn from the good examples of other ethnicity’s.  Jews don’t thrive here in America because they are cheap, they thrive because the are hard workers, and they support each other…black folk can learn from that.  Hispanics speak their language openly and freely (I can’t lie on the job I have a problem with this sometimes) and play latin music because of ethnic pride…black folk can learn from that.

I am a black man…I’m proud to be a black man.  I’m proud of what we have done and what we have overcome as a people.  In fact I’m so proud to be black that I have never been nor will I ever be an N-word.  I will never fall for the stupid explanation for why other blacks accept and embrace the word.  I love being a black man enough… to tell the truth…we as a people have some growing to do.

Stay Fly and Fly High!
KLH

Awww man!!!  I am so tired of hearing about Charlie Sheen.  He’s a famous guy from a famous family who is really rich, and is acting like a fool.  This is news why???  It is so common for rich celebrities to act crazy.  Is this guy outrageous? Yes…but the more interesting question is why do we care?  Why do we pay attention?  I think it’s the same reason that people watch reality TV.  In the interest of full disclosure I LOOOOVE trashy reality TV.  With that said I think the reason most people watch is because it gives them a way to live vicariously through the lives of others.  Remember Fear Factor?  Most of us would never eat bugs or jump off a building, but it’s fascinating to see somebody else do it.  Most people have fantasized about being a music star, but few of us have the guts to go out for an audition, like the kids on American Idol.

The truth of the matter is that it’s safe to sit on our couch and watch other people live full out.  We don’t get our feelings hurt, we don’t risk our safety, or reputation.  Some of us may even think “hell…I can do that…I’m just too busy making a REAL LIVING”.  The other reason people watch is we can look at these people and feel like we’re not so bad off after all.  Some of this reality trash gives us a way to feel better about ourselves.  We look down our noses at these people behaving in ways that we may feel is quite ignorant…and “ghetto”.  We don’t want anyone to judge us…but how many of us judge the people we see on reality TV?  I cannot lie…I know I do.

Maybe Snooky, NeNe Leaks, the baby mama’s and daddies on Maury, and the transvestites on Jerry Springer are doing us all a favor.  Maybe they are sacrificing their dignity so the rest of us can have some.  Maybe the people on Survivor, The Apprentice, and American Idol are taking the arrows of rejection so that we don’t have to.  Or maybe we live in a world where people are so starving for attention and their 15 minutes that they will do ANYTHING to get it.

I think this kind of craziness on TV can serve us.  It can remind us how we can sometimes be hurtful to each other and that perhaps we can be a little kinder.  Reality TV can remind us that we really can pursue our dreams and actually accomplish them.  Reality TV is not going anywhere anytime soon, and to be honest I ain’t gonna stop watching anytime soon…but if I hear about Charlie Sheen ONE MORE TIME…I swear I’m gonna pop!!!

Stay Fly and Fly High
KLH

While I was laying on the couch… in the back of my mind I knew I should write a post on this blog of mine…but the couch felt so comfortable…and comfort has a way of disabling ambition and progress.  I have these dreams and big goals…and I know fully well that I will never achieve what I want in life, if it’s up to this damn couch.  So…I decide to sit up, grab the laptop, and start writing…even though I didn’t want to.

Here’s the thing, at the other side of ‘didn’t want to’ is a whole new world.  A world of accomplishment and dreams come true.  Any worthwhile goal will require of you sacrifice and discipline.  You WILL have to give up things.  You WILL have to do certain things, and stop doing others.  You WILL have to be patient and persistent.  You WILL have to say no to yourself…perhaps a lot more than you’ve been accustomed to.  But that is the price of accomplishment.  I heard someone say you must ‘give up what others have now, to have what others cannot have tomorrow’. 

Now trying to one up the Jones’s is not what that is about…at least not in my mind.  It’s about being willing to not watch that really funny TV show and practice your guitar.  It about not going out with your friends so you can complete the report for your college biology class.  It about getting up off the couch to write your blog, even though you have a right to be on that couch because you worked all day.

There is a price for success.  The price varies depending on what it is you want to be successful at…but please be clear, there is indeed a price.  Success demands that you pay that price up front, and in full, before you can have it.  You can’t get a discount…you can’t get a ‘hook up’, you have to pay.  The good news is, success has a layaway plan!!!  You can put down a small deposit and pay a little every day, or every week.  As long as you keep paying, the Universe will hold your ‘merchandise’.  If you continue to pay until your balance has been met, success will give itself to you.

So do you want to be successful?  Are there things you want out of life?  Places you want to travel to? You can have it all.  However you have to pay the price.  You have to put in the work…Even When You Don’t Want To.

Stay Fly and Fly High!
KLH

Yes that’s right time does keep on slipping…Steve Miller says “Into The Future”.  I’m not sure what the future part means, but I do know about time slipping away.  This ’slippage’ is a very big challenge when you’re trying to accomplish goals.  You can want to earn $20,000 more this year, lose 20lbs., or start a new business and it all seems good, exciting, and possible at first..  But then, time keeps on slipping, and before you now it a week has passed, a month, and then a year.  Eventually you give up on your goal, or even forgot you ever set a goal.  Yes…’time keeps on slipping’, and if you are ever to accomplish things you have got to prevent the ‘slippage’.

So, how do you prevent time from slipping away?  First you have to be present, or to put it another way you have to be aware.  Be aware that you have some important goals on the table that require action.  Be aware that if you do not act that time will indeed keep slipping away.  Be aware that there is no better time than now. 

If you have a goal you want to accomplish I would suggest that you commit to acting on that goal on a regular time schedule.  Some things can  and should be acted upon daily…other things may be better suited to weekly or monthly action.  The important thing is to commit the consistency.  Consistent action will prevent time from slipping away from you.  Consider this…February 2012 will come, and it will go.  The question is where will you be in relation to your goal? 

If you would take even a small action on a regular basis to move you closer to your goal, then February 2012 will look a whole lot better to you.  Don’t let procrastination rob you of the future you want for yourself.  Act on your goal regularly.  Now…don’t kid yourself into thinking you only need to complete an action once a month, when really you should be acting once a day.  Be honest with yourself…and be true to what is REALLY in your best interest.

How do you want your future to look?  If you want your life to be different than it is now…you’re gonna have to do things differently.  Take time regularly…preferably daily (there… I said it) to move yourself closer to your goal.  If you give it half a chance time will slip right through your fingers like water…Don’t let it.

Stay Fly and Fly High!

KLH

Well…I think this may be the first post I’ve written that begins with a question…and a question (good ones at least) deserves an answer.  It is so hard to do big things because they ARE BIG.  It’s easy to say “I want to be rich”, but it’s hard to get rich because that’s such a big thing.  Or, “I want to lose 50 lbs.” That’s hard to do because 50 lbs. is a big thing ( the pun really isn’t intended).  How about a couple more:  “I want to buy a house on a lake”, “I want a Mercedes S550″, “I want to be a successful singer, rapper, basketball player”.  You understand what I’m getting at.  These are all big aspirations.  It’s easy to say them…but much harder to do…because they are big.

So, how do you accomplish big things?  The answer is very simple…you break them down into small things.  If you want a million dollars in the bank, you’re most likely not going to be able to do that with one big deposit. Because of that most people will never become millionaires.  If a person could diet and exercise for one week and lose 50lbs. everybody would be willing.  The fact of the matter is it takes many weeks of very hard work and sacrifice to lose 50lbs., so most people who need or want to, will not.  It’s too big of a goal, it’s too hard. So what you have to do is break it down.

The challenge with breaking big goals down into small manageable chunks, is it’s hard to see how you’ll ever get to the finish line.  Right here I’m gonna let you in on a little secret…The Finish Line Is There…and it’s always gonna be there.  Even if you can’t see it from your current vantage point…it is there.  One of the qualities that most successful people have is vision.  Even when it’s not apparent to most people, a successful person can see the finish line.  So…they take small steps often.  Wanna be a millionaire?  I can tell you a very simple way…it’s not exciting…it’s not sexy…here it is:  Open a savings account and start saving $500 per month every month.  Next year increase the savings by $100, so you’re saving $600 per month.  Every year increase your monthly savings by $100 per month.  At the end of 20 years guess what???  You will have a million dollars in the bank.  This example assumes that you’re not making any interest at all…so in reality with compounded interest you’d get to that million even faster.

Want to lose 50lbs?  Start by going for a walk around the block, once a day…take 10 mins. to do it.  After a week, walk for 12 minutes a day.  Increase your walk by 2, 3, or 4 minutes a day, each week.  Start cutting back on calories gradually.  Have one scoop of ice cream rather than two, then gradually cut back to having ice cream once a week.  Do you see where I’m going?  You can accomplish anything if you just break it down into small chunks. 

Trust that the finish line will be there.  Do those small things consistently, and in time you will be amazed at the results you’ve achieved.  I heard a very smart man I listen to and read a lot named Micheal Niell say “all you can ever do is the next thing”.  It’s such an elegant approach.  Even if you want to literally build a rocket and launch a satellite into space, “all you can ever do is the next thing”.  Even NASA can’t design it, build it, and launch a rocket all at once.  They break it down, and do the next thing.  Do you want to start a business?  Do the next thing.  What might that be?  Maybe it’s just buying a book, to research the business, or taking a class to learn some skills. Then after that…do the next thing, then after that…do the next thing, and on and on. 

The bottom line is this, the reason why it’s so hard to do big things is because so many of us are under the false presumption that we have to do it all at once.  We psyche ourselves out of the thing before we even start.  STOP THAT!!!!  If you want to do something big…anything at all…break it down into small steps, ideally an action you can do today.  Once you’ve done that, do the next thing…then repeat.  You can thank me a year from now!

Stay Fly and Fly High!

KLH

It’s been a while since I’ve written…more than anything I’m writing to save myself…in the process I hope I can help someone else.  I’m a proud man, perhaps a little arrogant if I’m being honest.  So, as this recession wraps it’s bony ugly fingers around my neck trying to squeeze the life out of me, not only is it hard to breathe, but my pride is hurt.  I’ve gotten used to having things, doing what I want, without concern for whether or not I could afford it.  I never bragged about it, but I lived well and I was proud…and perhaps a little arrogant…ya dig?

So here I am, feeling small…afraid to pick up the phone.  People say “talk to the collectors, it’s better”.  But what do you say to the collector when you honestly don’t know when you will have any kind of payment?  I don’t have a good answer to that question.  I used to have two vehicles, now I have one…the one I use to make money with…it’s not cool…it doesn’t have the 20″ shinny rims…I won’t pick a girl up in it…so it hurts my pride.  I can’t eat out like I used to…and I’m finding out how expensive groceries are…I’m making choices I never had to make before…I feel small…and it hurts my pride.

If a friend of mine called and told me they were in this predicament, I’d know exactly what to say…but it’s not a friend …it’s me…and more often than I want to admit, I don’t know what to say….I’m afraid, and I’m embarrassed that I’m afraid, because men aren’t supposed to be afraid…so…here I am literally sitting in a dark room…pecking away at this keyboard, hoping…praying…thinking…meditating…wiping away a couple of tears…but a “man ain’t supposed to cry” that’s what the Temptations sang, that’s what people say.  So, what do I do here alone in this dark room, feeling hurt. and afraid? 

Well…maybe I can start by caring about myself at least as much as I care about my friends…and I wouldn’t let a friend stay in the dark, afraid and alone.  I would empathize with her, and tell her that I understand how hard it is for her right now.  I would gently correct her and tell her that it’s OK to be afraid, but it’s not OK to say she’s small…because she isn’t.  I would hold her hand and remind her where she comes from.  I’d tell her “you are made from the same stuff as, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa, Bill Gates, and Oprah Winfrey.  In the image of God you’ve been awesomely made.”  I’d tell her that “as hard as it is right now…if you look up ahead…there is a faint light, and if you walk towards it…it will move towards you.  That light will reveal a new, better, more fulfilling, and happy world.  In you my friend is a mighty power capable of overcoming anything thrown in it’s path, and achieving anything you can imagine.”  I’d say that for starters.

So…I think I’ll take some of my own advice…I’ll remind myself what I am made of.  I won’t belittle myself, I won’t continue to think I am small…because I am not.  I have goals and aspirations, I’ve always been a big dreamer, but I don’t know exactly what the future holds…but this much I do know…I am made from the stuff of stars…of  mountains…of Martin, Bill and Oprah.  They don’t know it…but they are my teachers, they showed me how…Jesus set an example for me.  He knew that if he could…so could I. 

I will not lie…I’m still afraid, but that’s OK.  In spite of my fear I will continue to work at what it is I am here on this rock to do.  I hope you will do the same.  Right up ahead there is light…I know it can be hard to see it…but keep on moving and it will move towards you…I’m not sure how I know that, but I do. 

Stay Fly and Fly High!
KLH

you ought to say it.  That’s what I believe, and what I’m doing.  I’ve been sitting here on the couch engaging in my Sunday morning ritual watching political talk shows.  As I watch I am reminded over and over again how little our elected officials care about the people who gave them their jobs.  It’s all about one-up-manship.  The Republicans can’t stand the fact the Obama and his Democratic crew handed them their ass in 2008.  So now the only concern for Republicans is to deny any and everything the Democrats want, and plotting on how they get reclaim their former glory.  The Democrats for their part, are too wimpy to stand up for the things they campaigned on, and promised us when they wanted our votes.

This leaves us on our own.  I’ve spoken about it before, we have effectively given our power away.  The greedy and selfish politicians who we put in office will not look after our interests unless we force them to do it by reclaiming what we have apathetically given away.  So how do we fix this mess we find ourselves in?  We  first have to believe that we can fix it.  This is the most important point.  Far too many people think that there is nothing they can do.  They believe that the politicians are going to do what they want no matter what, and the politicians count on that kind of hopelessness and apathy.

Secondly we have to get informed.  That doesn’t mean we have to become political experts, it simply means that we have to know what our own interests are, and what the politicians are doing about those interests.  So…the action plan is this… give some thought to what concerns you.  Don’t be corralled into what talk show hosts say, pay attention to your own personal interests.  Once you’ve determined that, go on the Internet and get the email and or phone number of your elected officials and contact them regularly, informing them of what your interests are.  Let them know that your vote cannot be taken for granted, and that if your interests are not fought for, you WILL vote for someone else. 

Another thing you can do is talk to your friends and family.  Encourage them to be vocal about their own interests and to resist being told what to think by radio and TV talking heads.  If we as a people can get to a place of belief in our own personal power, then we can change things in this country for good.  If we don’t, then we can look forward to more abuse by the Overlords…these government officials run amok.

If you have something to say…say it.  If you don’t have something to say…you’re part of the problem…I’m just saying.

Stay Fly and Fly High!
KLH

Your comments are welcome.

Well, he did it.  With the help of a lot of politicians who put their careers on the line, a comprehensive health-care reform bill was signed into law…but now what?  A few things will go into affect this year:  tax credits for employers, young folk get to stay on their parents’ plan until the age of 26, and you can’t get your insurance cancelled because you got sick (a particularly horrendous thing insurance companies do).  These are all good things.  The full benefits of the bill won’t be completely in affect for about four years…yikes!

I think the president deserves a lot of credit for persevering on this issue, but we shouldn’t forget about health-care now.  Costs will still be very very high for a lot of people, especially for those who really need insurance.  While people with pre-existing conditions won’t be able to be declined for new insurance the cost of new coverage will most likely still be quite high.  This has to change.  Rate changes will still come around way too often.  This has to change.  The influence of insurance companies over our elected officials will still be huge.  This too has got to change.

The new health-care bill is a great first step, but it’s only that a first step.  We have to remind our elected officials that more change is necessary.  If we persist we just might be able to reclaim the power that we as a people have surrendered to those we elected to serve us.  

 So now  the Republican Party is pissed off, not because they care so much about the people.  They are pissed off because Obama slipped in and did something for the American people while they were busy taking care of the super rich and super powerful.  Now they are acting like bratty children who didn’t get their way.  Some want to repeal the bill, others want to sue the federal government.  If the Republicans cared anything about health-care reform they would have done it when they were in power.  All this righteous indignation is a pitiful joke.  They should try to retain a couple of crumbs of their self respect and go sit down somewhere and zip it!

Obama’s health-care…it ain’t perfect, but it’s better than what we got.

Your comments are welcomed.

Stay Fly and Fly High!
KLH

Yep…I followed through.  It’s about 10:45 PM and I wanted to go to bed…I need to go to bed, but something in me pushed, and I am responding.  For the last couple of months I have been developing the habit of writing down a couple of things that I want to accomplish for the day.  Preferably things that will move me closer to the accomplishment of important goals.  I have found that it’s a really useful habit.  One of the three things I had on my list today was…to write a post on this blog….I am here.

At first I was  content to be happy with my first goal for the day especially since I spent quite a few hours on it.  Then I felt the push and I decided to forge ahead and do the second thing, which was to set up my DJ rig to practice…DONE!  Having checked off two things I felt really good, and rationalized that two is better than none…and that my “list” is just a reminder, and not a requirement.  Then I felt that damn push…I knew that for me to get to where I want to be, I have to do more and different things than I’ve done in the past.  It became very clear to me that it is very important to do what I say.

My word is important…especially to myself…especially to my spirit.  So here I am writing…because I said I would.  I have to tell you I feel proud, and if you set goals and then do what you say, you too will feel proud.  Proud people jump over hurdles, and dissolve limitations.  When you do what you say, you take yourself more seriously the same way you would when another person keeps their word.  When you take yourself more seriously, you feel empowered.  With this growing power, what is possible for you becomes bigger, with every little goal you check off your list.

So, I did what I said, and I feel good…really good…I guess there’s something to be said for follow through.  Goodnight!

Stay Fly and Fly High!
KLH

Comments Always Welcome.

Well…in two words I DO!!!  I recently talked to a really good friend of mine whose husband is in the hospital and had to have a CAT scan and other tests.  Even though they have health insurance they had to contemplate whether or not they:   1.  could afford the costs (because they have an enormous deductible and:  2.  could afford the risk of being dropped from their insurance, since they’ve been dropped twice in the past because they had the GALL to use their insurance for a previous illness.

I was very upset by this story because I too have health insurance that for the most part ain’t worth a damn.  First of all I’m self employed so I had to buy my insurance personally.  When I bought it I was healthy and had never been admitted into the hospital.  A little bit later I found out I had high blood pressure.  My health insurance company promptly raised my premium, which they have continued to do over the years.  About two years ago I found out I have diabetes, and again without skipping a beat my insurance company raised my premium again.  As I started becoming a little more educated about health insurance I realized I had no coverage for any kind out outpatient tests like X-rays, CAT scans, or blood work.  So, I called to see if I could purchase this additional coverage.  My insurance company did what insurance companies do and said NO!!!  I did this so easily becaue they know I can’t go anywhere else, with my pre-conditions.

If I get sick I wouldn’t be able to get any tests, at least none that I can afford.  If I get admitted into the hospital, I too like my friends have a large deductible.  Basically I cannot afford to get sick.  So now I watch the madness on TV regarding healthcare reform and it’s disgusting.  The Democrats don’t have any guts and the Republicans don’t have any hearts.  The truth of the matter is that most of our elected officials don’t give a damn about you or me.  They care about their own power and influence.  It got that way because we let it get that way.

There may be a solution, but it won’t be easy or fast.  We have to take the power back.  We have to remind them that they all work for us.  We must demand that laws be passed that limit the amount of money insurance companies can charge to keep us alive!!!!! It’s hard for me to imagine more selfish, greedy, and immoral people than the creatures that run health insurance companies.  The only way we can have insurance we need for life itself, is to force our elected officials to look out for our interests.  Even those who have insurance with their employers are at risk because insurance companies are raising the premiums every few months.  Soon even employers who want to provide coverage won’t be able to afford it.

So make your voice heard, and if your elected officials don’t give you what you want…VOTE THEM OUT OF OFFICE!  If the next ones don’t do the right thing,  get rid of them too.  Eventually we can take this country back, and have a true democracy.  Who cares about healthcare…I do…what about you?

Stay Fly and Fly High!
KLH